Jack

I’m at the age where with most of the new music I listen to I’m not sure which name is the artist and which is the album.

If I ever had a DNA editing robot I’d probably name it Gene Hackman as a little joke.

“Mark my words.”

- me turning in an essay

Trying to hold onto that vacation feeling.. but it’s fading baybee!

Do not touch the glass. Do not approach the glass. You pass him nothing but soft paper - no pencils or pens. No staples or paperclips in his paper. Use the sliding food carrier, no exceptions. If he attempts to pass you anything, do not accept it. Do you understand me?

Oven clock, we meet again.

When I was a kid restaurants were divided into smoking and second hand smoking sections.

Starting a Go Fund Me for the City of Houston to buy a snow plow.

Sorry I haven’t been very active on here the last week my 11 year old has been describing a video game to me.

paid advertising

I quit

Being pregnant is kind of goth because you have a skeleton inside you.

RFK Jr. recommends moving west for ‘dry climate’ instead of a flu shot.

We are so believably fucked.

I’m going to have to throw away all these Antifa business cards aren’t I?

We act like the “Murder, She Wrote” and “Magnum, P.I.” crossover wasn’t the apex of western culture.

Maybe the internet will calm me down

Maybe God is mad at us because we had the hubris to claim we could build bears.

Mystery Science Theater 3000 but it’s us watching the fall of America.

When we’re all political prisoners in labor camps I’ll bet I’m going to be the funny one.

If “America 2024” was a book this would be the cover.

You will be visited by 3 ghosts

Ewok is short for electronic wok.

Gulf of Your Mom