Thor Benson

Zohran: Imagine living in a city where you can afford your rent, your groceries and even a meal at a restaurant now and then without much stress

Eric Adams: Imagine a platypus so powerful that it could destroy the city. We need more cops

Lee Jae-myung, the South Korean politician who climbed the fence of the parliament to get inside and vote against martial law, has been elected president. Pretty cooool

I guess it's fitting that it's a reimagined, worse version of someone else's artwork

The dystopian films never show the part where you're just hoping the bad guy is too stupid to accomplish his goals

[writing the constitution]

Benjamin Franklin: Write down "no dumb fucks as president"

Alexander Hamilton: Stop saying that

Benjamin Franklin: I'm tellin' you. You're gonna regret not writing that down

Gotta love an 86-year-old woman with the heart of a poster

You come to me, on the day of my son's wedding, which I am not attending

Taking away someone's food and medicine makes you responsible for their death

Remember to log off sometimes. You can't rage post for four years straight without losing your mind

The Dow tomorrow

The head of the FBI isn't supposed to be getting blackout drunk. He's supposed to be cross-dressing

Wonder Showzen knew what was coming

I've long been a fan of Senator... [checks notes] ... Van Halen

"I hear you're sending me a seventh prime minister"

We really do have the weirdest, creepiest robber barons imaginable

To all who celebrate

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Trump becomes the first American president to lose a Canadian election

Canadians are pissed off. Cory Booker is pissed off. It's revenge of the nice people out here

My friend just asked me to pet sit for Christmas week. I'll be with this lady

You literally sound like a communist

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com

Stephen Miller: "Children will be taught to love America. Children will be taught to be patriots. Children will be taught civic values for schools that want federal taxpayer funding ... we're gonna make sure these funds are not being used to promote communist ideology."

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Who knew witnessing a murder could make you laugh

I'm going to start saying "art of the deal" every time I do something really stupid and then start backtracking

Everybody here

The reflecting pool is being sabotaged by paid protistas