This is a prolific poster! Showing posts since February 28, 2025.
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The label needs you to establish whether or not you practice Santeria in the first 2 seconds of the song but other than that they love it
758 145Jul 8, 2026 -
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Gf: whos the little guy
Me: his names Tasslehoff Burrfoot
Gf: whats that big stick hes got
Me: its called a hoopak
Gf: whered he get it
Me: probably kendermore. Thats the home city of the kender, of which he is one
Gf: whens my birthday
Me: is it in one of the months the sun wears sunglasses565 66Jul 10, 2026 -
3431 63Jul 16, 2026
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4
Me: my mothers pussy
Psychologist: ok what about this one
Me: also my mothers pussy
Psychologist: we dont have to keep doing the Rorschach blots if it’s making you uncomfortable
Me: no I’m good hit me again223 23Jul 4, 2026 -
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The vibes are off. We should carve an 1500 mile long chasm that runs from Utah to western Kentucky and install vast granite teeth on either side and call it the National Mouth
215 20Jul 20, 2026 -
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$3 bag of tortilla chips has a recipe for tilapia ceviche on the back of it. Know your place, chips
202 12Jul 16, 2026 -
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Lowkey the only way out is through
188 33Jul 3, 2026 -
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Me: what do I always say
Coworker: it’s gonna get worse before it gets better
Me: ok what else do I say
Coworker: fuck these customers
Me: yeah that’s the one188 20Jun 28, 2026 -
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yelling ARE YOU SAFE??? every time I see a woman in a cybertruck
182 37Jul 23, 2026 -
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As a feminist all boobs are big to me
170 27Jul 22, 2026 -
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I’m eating lentils you’ve never even heard of
169 18Jul 9, 2026 -
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im on r/nonbinarydinner and its all stuff in bowls. Youre going to be tempted to look for a joke here. I'm not sure there is one.
169 19Jul 18, 2026 -
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Snickers: dick vein
Butterfinger: no dick vein
Hersheys special dark: no dick vein
Almond joy: dick lumps
100 grand: no dick vein
3 musketeers: dick vein
Recess peanut butter cups: no dick vein
Twix: two dicks with sideways veins
Peppermint patty: no dick vein
Crunch bar: genital warts158 15Jul 22, 2026 -
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In eighth grade someone told me that sprite is for pussies and it became one of my core beliefs
151 8Jun 27, 2026 -
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Ok….. good luck raiding tombs with small tits
146 15Jul 11, 2026 -
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I’ll answer all your questions about why your post was saved right now. The button is in a stupid place. 99.99% of all saved posts are accidents.
142 14Jul 13, 2026 -
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5:30am wake-up, meditation
600am home gym, cold plunge
645am shower
700am green smoothie and egg white omelette
730am vhs mixtape of cartoons getting crushed characters getting crushed by anvils and pianos
830pm chicken and beans142 13Jun 27, 2026 -
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Anytime someone asks me how I’m doing I mutter the only way out is through
139 23Jul 2, 2026 -
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whats your job going to be in the reeducation camps? im going to be a learner
138 8Jul 17, 2026 -
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Everyone with a car has rich parents
137 9Jul 9, 2026 -
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Me: what’s that sound? It’s like a big cry or something
You: oh that’s a new world struggling to be born
Me: annoying135 17Jul 16, 2026 -
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If you are honest with a medical professional about anything at all they will use it to destroy you
126 16Jul 21, 2026 -
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Anything ai can do I can do slower and more resentfully
123 17Jul 5, 2026 -
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Dad: are ya winning son
Son: hard to say. Dont really know the win conditions. More of a sandbox experience. Right now im trying to breed cybertruck resistance into the women in my colony. Look, they used to catch fire as soon as they went in one but this new generation is just smoldering a bit121 10Jul 23, 2026 -
25122 14Jul 24, 2026
