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The Onion

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  1. 1

    FBI Uncovers Al-Qaeda Plot To Just Sit Back And Enjoy Collapse Of United States

    FBI Uncovers Al-Qaeda Plot To Just Sit Back And Enjoy Collapse Of United States
    WASHINGTON—Putting the nation on alert against what it has described as a “highly credible terrorist threat,” the FBI announced today that it has uncovered a plot by members of al-Qaeda to sit back an...
    68,500 15,851
    Feb 5, 2025
  2. 2

    Mark Zuckerberg Defends Decision To Fly Confederate Flag At Facebook Headquarters
    MENLO PARK, CA—Claiming that the banner embodied the spirit of the company’s values, Mark Zuckerberg defended his controversial decision Friday to fly a Confederate flag at the Facebook headquarters. ...
    57,524 11,237
    Jan 11, 2025
  3. 3

    Teen Warned Not To Accept Group Chat Invites From National Security Advisors She Doesn’t Know

    Teen Warned Not To Accept Group Chat Invites From National Security Advisors She Doesn’t Know
    45,615 10,041
    Mar 26, 2025
  4. 4

    Chuck Schumer Helps Pull Democrats Back From Brink Of Courage

    Chuck Schumer Helps Pull Democrats Back From Brink Of Courage
    38,844 9,671
    Mar 14, 2025
  5. 5

    Chuck Schumer Helps Pull Democrats Back From Brink Of Courage

    Chuck Schumer Helps Pull Democrats Back From Brink Of Courage
    28,364 8,669
    Nov 10, 2025
  6. 6

    ICE Agents Wait At Edge Of Delivery Table To Deport Newborn

    ICE Agents Wait At Edge Of Delivery Table To Deport Newborn
    37,918 8,611
    Apr 28, 2025
  7. 7

    ‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens theonion.com/no-way-to-pr...

    ‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens
    33,450 8,324
    Dec 16, 2024
  8. 8

    ‘You Can’t Let This Happen,’ Says Fundraising Email From Sitting U.S. Congressperson

    ‘You Can’t Let This Happen,’ Says Fundraising Email From Sitting U.S. Congressperson
    28,715 7,973
    Feb 12, 2025
  9. 9

    Mike Johnson: ‘My Christian Faith Is More About Not Jacking Off Than Feeding The Poor’

    Mike Johnson: ‘My Christian Faith Is More About Not Jacking Off Than Feeding The Poor’
    29,627 7,791
    Nov 3, 2025
  10. 10

    White House Begins Christmas Season With Ceremonial Lighting Of Cross

    White House Begins Christmas Season With Ceremonial Lighting Of Cross
    28,793 7,686
    Dec 10, 2025
  11. 11

    Democratic Leaders Stand Real Still In Hopes No One Notices Them

    Democratic Leaders Stand Real Still In Hopes No One Notices Them
    WASHINGTON—With the elected officials trying their hardest not to move a muscle, reports confirmed Monday that top Democratic leaders in Congress were standing real still in hopes that the American pe...
    35,951 7,235
    Mar 14, 2025
  12. 12

    Man Who Threw Molotov Cocktail At Sam Altman’s Home Claims He Was Following ChatGPT Recipe For Risotto https://theonion.com/man-who-threw-molotov-cocktail-at-sam-altmans-home-claims-he-was-following-chatgpt-recipe-for-risotto/

    Man Who Threw Molotov Cocktail At Sam Altman’s Home Claims He Was Following ChatGPT Recipe For Risotto
    30,178 7,162
    Apr 13, 2026
  13. 13

    Netanyahu Calls Iran Strikes Necessary To Prevent War He Just Started

    Netanyahu Calls Iran Strikes Necessary To Prevent War He Just Started
    23,551 7,053
    Feb 28, 2026
  14. 14

    Democratic Leaders Stand Real Still In Hopes No One Notices Them

    Democratic Leaders Stand Real Still In Hopes No One Notices Them
    WASHINGTON—With the elected officials trying their hardest not to move a muscle, reports confirmed Monday that top Democratic leaders in Congress were standing real still in hopes that the American pe...
    35,194 6,859
    Feb 24, 2025
  15. 15

    Pope Leo XIV: ‘There Couldn’t Be A Better Time To Get The Fuck Out Of America Forever’

    Pope Leo XIV: ‘There Couldn’t Be A Better Time To Get The Fuck Out Of America Forever’
    42,025 6,618
    May 8, 2025
  16. 16

    Nicolás Maduro Charged With Felony Oil Possession

    Nicolás Maduro Charged With Felony Oil Possession
    26,890 6,320
    Jan 5, 2026
  17. 17

    Cobweb-Covered Skeleton Gripping Senate Desk Expected To Seek 15th Term -The Onion
    28,669 6,095
    Dec 17, 2024
  18. 18

    ‘I Messed Up At Work Again,’ Crestfallen Michael Waltz Texts Wife, National Geographic Editorial Staff

    ‘I Messed Up At Work Again,’ Crestfallen Michael Waltz Texts Wife, National Geographic Editorial Staff
    36,111 6,061
    Mar 25, 2025
  19. 19

    Clarence Thomas Torn Over Case Where Both Sides Offer Compelling Scuba Trips
    theonion.com/clarence-tho...

    Clarence Thomas Torn Over Case Where Both Sides Offer Compelling Scuba Trips -The Onion
    31,658 6,054
    Dec 19, 2024
  20. 20

    Cobweb-Covered Skeleton Gripping Senate Desk Expected To Seek 15th Term
    32,120 6,026
    May 21, 2025
  21. 21

    Netanyahu Calls Iran Strikes Necessary To Prevent War He Just Started

    Netanyahu Calls Iran Strikes Necessary To Prevent War He Just Started
    24,777 5,978
    Jun 13, 2025
  22. 22

    Kennedy Curse Sure Taking Its Sweet Time With RFK Jr.

    Kennedy Curse Sure Taking Its Sweet Time With RFK Jr.
    32,021 5,600
    Aug 7, 2025
  23. 23

    ‘We Must Protect The Pure Aryan Bloodline,’ Says Child After 9 Minutes Of Unsupervised Facebook Access

    ‘We Must Protect The Pure Aryan Bloodline,’ Says Child After 9 Minutes Of Unsupervised Facebook Access
    PEABODY, MA—Having discovered the social media website open on his father’s unattended laptop, local 6-year-old Oliver Sherman stated “We must protect the pure Aryan bloodline” Friday after nine minut...
    31,141 5,562
    Jan 11, 2025
  24. 24

    Nation’s Indigenous People Confirm They Don’t Need Special Holiday, Just Large Swaths Of Land Returned Immediately https://theonion.com/nation-s-indigenous-people-confirm-they-don-t-need-spec-1839033177/

    Nation’s Indigenous People Confirm They Don’t Need Special Holiday, Just Large Swaths Of Land Returned Immediately
    22,842 5,311
    Oct 13, 2025
  25. 25

    FBI Uncovers Al-Qaeda Plot To Just Sit Back And Enjoy Collapse Of United States

    FBI Uncovers Al-Qaeda Plot To Just Sit Back And Enjoy Collapse Of United States
    WASHINGTON—Putting the nation on alert against what it has described as a “highly credible terrorist threat,” the FBI announced today that it has uncovered a plot by members of al-Qaeda to sit back an...
    23,966 5,308
    Apr 3, 2025