Noel Casler Comedy

‘No, Secretary Kennedy, cocaine and bear meat will not be part of the school lunch program…I don’t care who your uncle was, Sir…’

I’m not sure USA has ever faced such a moment. Wholly unprepared to deal with calamity on the world stage. We have a Putin ass-kisser at Sec of State, a drunk at Pentagon and a dipshit asshole sitting in the Oval Office Adderall tweeting. He pulled out of Iran deal, lethal moron.

Did you not think he was going to attack other countries, target his perceived enemies, abuse civil liberties & minorities, tank our economy and destroy what was left of our dignity & democracy? He’s been waiting 78 years to do this it’s gonna destroy the USA unless we stop him.

Any player who took a knee today during the anthem would be a hero for all time. Just sayin’.

I can’t believe such a wretched, morbidly obese, drug addicted, deviant, illiterate, sexual predator found the secret sauce to turn half our country into absolute lunatics. Turning a blind eye daily to the most rampant corruption in American history as they genuflect before him.

Mainstream media is doing a woefully inadequate job of highlighting the horrors ICE is committing across the USA. My hunch is that is by design.

Pro Tip: Canada is not your enemy but the greasy, drug addicted money-laundering bald mfker who made his own daughter give him lap dances and just spent the week tearing down something that didn’t belong to him is, also he knows nothing about economics. Tariffs will wreck USA.

Pro Tip: Innocent people don’t spend their days attacking judges, that’s what mobsters and despots do. Any lawyer who willingly does business with the White House is a creep & a cretin. I don’t care how much their firm pulls in a year. They’re enabling tyrants and they know it.

‘We don’t go to no damn football game to see MALE cheerleaders, we go to see super fit dudes in really tight pants kneel down & reach between each others legs, run & tackle until they collapse in a sweaty pile of man so we can get tipsy in the stands & admiringly call ‘em ‘units’

I’m starting to think letting the guy who taught his little brother to shoot up when he was just a kid or who gave the family bird LSD before selling cocaine out of his Harvard dorm then spending several decades as a philandering douchebag wasn’t the right choice to lead HHS.

When JD told Don Jr he was hitting the powder this weekend, Jr said ‘me too bro’.

The ‘Peace President’ killed six more people off the coast of Venezuela this morning. We have no evidence other than his word that they were a threat to anyone, anywhere and also release the Epstein files. Thank you for your attention in this matter!

If you’re a grown ass man in full tactical gear asking a child to show you ID or proof of citizenship you failed at life. Utterly & completely failed. Loser.

“The only thing that even seems to drive the folks who voted for him out of their self-centered lives of vacation selfies and bare-chested guns and ammo pics, is when they take umbrage for being called stupid for voting not once but three times for the most corrupt and criminal man in America.”

I would say ABC should be ashamed of themselves but I spent enough to time in TV to know networks have no shame. What they have are shareholders & corporate owners. We have a POTUS who refers to a Governor as ‘Newscum’ and it gets accepted by news orgs but calling out evil isn’t.

If you made my grandma stand outside in a line in AZ for hours to find out why her Social Security check hadn’t come and then told her to ‘come back tomorrow’ or figure it out online. I would spend the rest of my days making sure the political party that caused it became extinct.

The USA is barely recognizable after 4 months; if you think you can sit on the sidelines and it will be handed back to you in four years you are out of your mind.

When Corey Booker was Mayor of Newark he joined us at NBC for a Hurricane Sandy Benefit. His security guy was a friend of mine and told me they had been up for almost 48 hours delivering supplies to constituents.

Dear Mr. President, if you come out tonight and say ‘you know what? f*ck all y’all, I’m out…’ I will forgive you.

*Kiss my Irish ass’ works too. Just sayin. You earned it, Sir.

Do you realize how big of a monster you have to be to make the Catholic Church look like the victim?

“Today it’s migrants - and tomorrow it’s you or me, or Rosie O’ Donnell. The federal government of the U.S.A. is essentially being stripped for parts by a gang of hooligans and miscreants pretending to be the good guys.”

Trump has harsher words for the Governor of Colorado than he does Vladimir Putin. That is because Donald and his idiotic family have been owned by the Russian mob for decades and YES they know ALL about his sordid history with Jeffrey Epstein. Stop him in 2026, USA.

“As I have said before, he was no mere casual acquaintance of Jeffrey Epstein but a decades-long partner in a multinational sex-trafficking and money laundering operation.”

This is the second Sunday in a row the Kansas City Chiefs won’t be playing football.