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So… I lost 30k followers on X
But gained 200K on Blue Sky!35,652 1,728Nov 25, 2024 -
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Me: “we already have two fantastic dogs, we don’t need any more pets.”
My wife: “you’re right.”
Me: “plus we just got new rugs…”
My wife: “okay”
Me: “and I can’t be home all day to house train a puppy.”
My wife: “I understand”
Me: “so it is NOT gonna happen.”
…
BlueSky, meet Martha.33,775 1,759Jun 20, 2025 -
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My hand to god right before they took this photo I told Gene “Smile like you’ve never actually met me before” and this is what he did.
#RIPGeneHackman28,468 1,770Feb 27, 2025 -
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It happened.
My BlueSky count just passed my count from the hellsite.
You guys are the best. It’s just better here.
Thanks for having me.20,342 1,017May 2, 2025 -
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I’m glad Jimmy’s back.
But Brendan Carr still needs to resign.
www.hollywoodreporter.com/tv/tv-news/j...16,540 2,876Sep 22, 2025 -
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Spoiler alert:
I did not get the part.15,754 756Dec 1, 2024 -
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Just got my measles vaccine!
I got my first before 1968, so it turns out I needed a new one.
The measles outbreak is ongoing, be careful out there!13,953 1,879Mar 29, 2025 -
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So the World Series MVP is an… immigrant
13,136 1,926Nov 2, 2025 -
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Tomorrow I’ll be calling all of my representatives to demand that they call for RFK jr’s immediate resignation.
10,614 2,402Apr 17, 2025 -
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From now on, no matter what job she holds, I’m calling Kristi Noem the “Secretary of Handbag Security”
10,019 1,414Apr 21, 2025 -
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The Trump criminal cases were sabotaged by a SCOTUS he stacked and a judge he nominated.
MAGA folks are going to try to gaslight that the cases against Trump “fell apart” as opposed to the truth.
FWIW I will only refer to Trump as “our criminal president” and I suggest every Democrat do the same.9,802 1,629Nov 25, 2024 -
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The Pretty in Pink/Back to the Future crossover you’ve been waiting for.
#NoKings Los Angeles!!!
(Leah Thompson is a real one)8,618 862Jun 14, 2025 -
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“A threat to humanity”?
*Rosie O’Donnell* is a “threat to humanity”??
Who’s next, Rikki Lake?
Joey Fatone??
Urkel???8,556 1,132Jul 12, 2025 -
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Hey @Bluesky
I’m enjoying my time here quite a bit.
Any chance we’re getting Drafts and an edit button any time soon?8,045 534Jan 2, 2025 -
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Keep our homeland secure?
She cant even keep her handbag secure.
https://www.cnn.com/2025/04/21/politics/homeland-security-kristi-noem-purse-stolen/index.html7,461 1,169Apr 21, 2025 -
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So the $15 million Disney “donated” to our criminal president’s library fund didn’t stop him from coming after them again.
If you think you can appease an autocrat…7,237 1,940Mar 28, 2025 -
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Wouldn’t it be wild if Kimmel ended up becoming our Zelenskyy
7,041 878Sep 19, 2025 -
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So we’ve got a Secretary of Defense who can’t keep his communications secure and a Secretary of Homeland Security who can’t keep her handbag secure.
#FireThemAll6,837 1,606Apr 21, 2025 -
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3 things autistic kids will actually never do:
1. Pick up a roadkill bear from the side of the road and put it in their van to eat
2. Realize they could get in trouble for eating the bear
3. Leave it in Central Park to frame a cyclist for its murder6,457 1,555Apr 17, 2025 -
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Spoke with a small business owner yesterday who told me all his suppliers are raising prices out of fear and/or greed even if they aren’t directly paying tariffs.
He called it “scareflation”6,456 1,401May 10, 2025 -
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Unforgivable.
No amount of apologies from this man will suffice.
He cannot be allowed to stay in office.
He is an unqualified eugenicist.
Also an idiot.6,082 1,302Apr 17, 2025
