soul nate

2025 white house cabinet meeting

i miss the early internet. people were like “you gotta see this dude. this cat sure is long.” and they were right. it was really long. it never shoulda gotten any more complicated than that.

disney exec: it’s about a guy who thinks he’s a monkey lol. probably don’t need anything too crazy for the soundtrack.

phil collins: [eyes glowing white, levitating above the ground] no

guess where we’re complaining about it now bitch

if we are all going to be forced to relive 2016, they should at the very least let us see mad max fury road in theaters again

on “Wonderful Christmastime,” Sir Paul McCartney set out to make a timeless christmas classic and also to figure out what every button on his synthesizer did, and he absolutely succeeded at one of those things

must rock being a cybertruck guy. every time you pull up it’s like beep beep make way for the Ambassador of Divorce

american schools: on the first thanksgiving, the pilgrims and native americans shared dinner to celebrate their peaceful coexistence in the new world 😊

me: that sounds nice! what happened next?

american schools: uhhhhhhh. dessert

wife: how was guarding the two paths today, honey?

guard: [looking away] fine

wife: did something happen?

guard: [tearing up] no

wife: would the other guard tell me something happened?

just saw wicked. the green lady could defeat the pink lady in hand-to-hand combat easily and i am tired of being told this is Not So

fostering a dog and he just tried to eat my lasagna. you’re not a cat bro. that’s cultural appropriation

[threatening a baby] here comes the airplane

shout out to kendrick lamar for making this the Worst Week Alive for every single hot dog stand employee

if i were the NYPD i would try releasing some facts about the shooter that do not make him sound awesome

imagine being the CEO of spirit halloween. you only work a single month a year and you make 10 billion dollars. your only job is sell skeleton. life is good.

and then some FUCKER from *Home Depot* says “let’s make one taller than god.”

the poor foster dog is terrified of the coffee grinder. i feel the need to explain. “these are the beans you have to drink when you are a person,” i say. “sometimes things are very very bad. but then the beans happen and it is good.” i can tell she understands

what’s- what’s the good way

it’s hard to know where anything in this country is going politically but i am 100% positive that dan bongino will accidentally shoot the gun at himself at least once

republicans: fyi we are bombing france for being too gay and lead poisoning is now mandatory

democrats: yeah? well prepare yourselves for several strongly worded haikus

all that money was woke, you see

poor guy has terrible luck lmao i logged on for the first time in months 5 minutes after he posted this

$100/night hotel: hi. we have you for 3 nights. checkout’s whenever. enjoy the 24 hour gym & pool that smell like chlorine & feet, in that order. unlimited breakfast - you can eat costco sausages til you die for all we care

$275/night hotel: OHHH, so his royal highness expects FREE WIFI, does he???

a piece of bluesky lore i hold close to my heart: apparently this was the first skeet to reach 1,000 likes, at which point i found out that the devs had actively decided not to add the “,” for numbers >999 until they saw a post hit it lmfao. legends

soul nate @mnateshyamalan.bsky.social

guess where we’re complaining about it now bitch

very hot tip: if you see this shit in the store buy it. it’s peak refreshment. mixes perfectly with gin if you’re into that kind of thing. i get it at aldi but imagine it’s elsewhere

this isnt a sponsored post but it was made out of personal self interest, because if they stop making it i will kms