leon

no matter your politics it’s disrespectful to joke about someone’s death. don’t say lindsey graham died from smoking a cigar because the cigar exploded in his face and his pants and socks and underwear flew off and then he dropped the cigar on his penis which also exploded. don’t say stuff like that

my new idea for time zones. whenever you wake up, that's 9 am. and whenever you go to sleep that's 9 pm. time is no longer a fixed point. you can follow the sun or you can follow your heart. the choice is yours

me (casting spell of penis explode in the direction of the white house but a hot girl walks by with silver hair and rimless glasses reminding me of biwa hayahide from umamusume and i turn to catch a glimpse of her beauty): ouuh

lindsey graham: ow

getting mad at the film adaptation of journey to the west because it's not historically accurate. sun wokeong

how about a compromise, anyone who blocks will has to fill out a form explaining why. this form gets sent directly to his phone and he can’t turn this feature off

max largeman [beach mode] @dad.franklinstower.online

rapist mentality

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You don't understand scale.

Embark on a journey of revenge.

Dig two graves.

Their loved ones embark on a journey of revenge.

They dig four graves.

Their loved ones embark on a journey of revenge.

In 6 months you have 256 graves.

In a year you have 65,536 graves.

the trailer for the new movie in the mommy cinematic universe is exhausting. the timeline is so confusing with her face coming back again. i'm tired of crossovers like dada and grandma. and last time the food came in on train but this time it's airplane

wizards prepare spells to cast each day. for example if a wizard wants to cast penis explosion, they have to memorize the spell ahead of time. whereas a sorcerer can cast penis explosion any time as long as they already know the spell

one of the dinner charts people got so mad yesterday when someone said they weren’t a real economist that they posted a photo holding up their undergraduate diploma. which is probably the coolest thing you can do in that situation

(to the tune of country roads)

cast explode, on penis
to the place on the dong
wizard hit ya, using mana
on penis, cast explode

i got a bad case of diarrhea this week. not from eating bad lettuce or anything. just been eating a lot of diarrhea

really feels like the players should be selling flops a lot more by straight up crying. like why not, just burst into tears. go boo hoo mode

everyone’s talking about daylight saving time. when you should be talking about penis saving time *casts spell of penis explosion on you*

Reply to @leyawn.bsky.social

good morning everyone. his penis exploded

just walked by a bar in my neighborhood and a tour guide was leading a group of european tourists into it while explaining what a dive bar is

1) dragons
2) giants
3) mermaids
4) goblins

france-england third place game: mbappe scores 142 goals in regulation (98 for france and 44 for england) final score 108-106

spain-argentina finals: spain scores at 11”, followed by 85 minutes of defensive ball with no shots on goal, final score 1-0

Reply to @junlper.beer

yeah i think ice should be reformed. into fertilizer

Reply to @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com

lol you just know the author fell for this shit hook line and sinker

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Reply to @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com

change the butterfly to an oyster and the whole thing is graham platner

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oh shucks i'm just a simple country boy from the sticks. but i think we oughta let these here data centers get a darn tootin chance

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that's funny because i heard you took $500,000 instead of having dinner with the crypt keeper. i'm learning invaluable lessons and making my burial plots grow