leon

this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to hang out in the middle east while he starts the same war every day. when a missile blasts you into pieces he'll say your last words were "we must build a new ballroom in the white house" before your body is even cold. good luck soldier

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com

Trump on fallen US troops: "All of them said very strongly, 'We cannot let Iran have a nuclear weapon.'"

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my new idea for time zones. whenever you wake up, that's 9 am. and whenever you go to sleep that's 9 pm. time is no longer a fixed point. you can follow the sun or you can follow your heart. the choice is yours

how about a compromise, anyone who blocks will has to fill out a form explaining why. this form gets sent directly to his phone and he can’t turn this feature off

max largeman [beach mode] @dad.franklinstower.online

rapist mentality

me (casting spell of penis explode in the direction of the white house but a hot girl walks by with silver hair and rimless glasses reminding me of biwa hayahide from umamusume and i turn to catch a glimpse of her beauty): ouuh

lindsey graham: ow

one of the dinner charts people got so mad yesterday when someone said they weren’t a real economist that they posted a photo holding up their undergraduate diploma. which is probably the coolest thing you can do in that situation

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You don't understand scale.

Embark on a journey of revenge.

Dig two graves.

Their loved ones embark on a journey of revenge.

They dig four graves.

Their loved ones embark on a journey of revenge.

In 6 months you have 256 graves.

In a year you have 65,536 graves.

getting mad at the film adaptation of journey to the west because it's not historically accurate. sun wokeong

the trailer for the new movie in the mommy cinematic universe is exhausting. the timeline is so confusing with her face coming back again. i'm tired of crossovers like dada and grandma. and last time the food came in on train but this time it's airplane

wizards prepare spells to cast each day. for example if a wizard wants to cast penis explosion, they have to memorize the spell ahead of time. whereas a sorcerer can cast penis explosion any time as long as they already know the spell

just walked by a bar in my neighborhood and a tour guide was leading a group of european tourists into it while explaining what a dive bar is

i got a bad case of diarrhea this week. not from eating bad lettuce or anything. just been eating a lot of diarrhea

(to the tune of country roads)

cast explode, on penis
to the place on the dong
wizard hit ya, using mana
on penis, cast explode

Reply to @leyawn.bsky.social

good morning everyone. his penis exploded

really feels like the players should be selling flops a lot more by straight up crying. like why not, just burst into tears. go boo hoo mode

Reply to @junlper.beer

bro couldn’t figure out how to leave the first room in dark souls

everyone’s talking about daylight saving time. when you should be talking about penis saving time *casts spell of penis explosion on you*

1) dragons
2) giants
3) mermaids
4) goblins

Reply to @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com

lol you just know the author fell for this shit hook line and sinker

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that's funny because i heard you took $500,000 instead of having dinner with the crypt keeper. i'm learning invaluable lessons and making my burial plots grow

Reply to @junlper.beer

yeah i think ice should be reformed. into fertilizer

france-england third place game: mbappe scores 142 goals in regulation (98 for france and 44 for england) final score 108-106

spain-argentina finals: spain scores at 11”, followed by 85 minutes of defensive ball with no shots on goal, final score 1-0

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a man must have the courage to stand by his principles. good for you noel

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