🏴‍☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴‍☠️

Hell yes I'm recycling all my tweets on Bluesky. Why should I come up with new garbage when I already have this garbage?

Has anyone ever spiraled into control?

That Avocados From Mexico super bowl ad gonna hit real different I suspect

I guess putting lead back into paint is next

I'm "a pfp used to be called an avi" years old

Gabapentin would make a beautiful name for a baby girl

I hope when the white smoke comes out the Vatican sound system starts playing 🎶 RIGHT ABOUT NOW FUNK POPE BROTHER CHECK IT OUT NOW 🎶

Otherwise this was all a waste of time

Inside me are 4 horsemen. I am singlehandedly holding back the Apocalypse.

Gasses: Sup bitches

Noble Gasses: Good evening m'ladies

I think "go fly a kite" was the original go fuck yourself

You're the next pope, Charlie Brown

Possibly terrifying, possibly good for the environment if literal: Applebees

We don't talk enough about what a fun name the Fine Young Cannibals is.

Drives me crazy

My Myers-Briggs score came back as NSFW

Pronounces douche like touché

All this shit going on today is because your momma don't dance and your daddy don't rock-n-roll

She was rare. Like a railroad car with no graffiti.

Diamonds are forever and so are marinara sauce stains

You can't hurt me. I made it through leather seats in the car during summer.

Music is the closest we will ever get to time travel

*Listens to We Didn't Start the Fire by Billy Joel*

*Adds history major to resumé*

An escape room, but we just lock kids in a library and they have to use the Dewey decimal system to find their way out.

What idiot called it a period tracker when flow chart was right there?

My mom was a travel agent. She had the best deals on guilt trips.