🏴‍☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴‍☠️

Hell yes I'm recycling all my tweets on Bluesky. Why should I come up with new garbage when I already have this garbage?

Has anyone ever spiraled into control?

I guess putting lead back into paint is next

That Avocados From Mexico super bowl ad gonna hit real different I suspect

I'm "a pfp used to be called an avi" years old

Gabapentin would make a beautiful name for a baby girl

I hope when the white smoke comes out the Vatican sound system starts playing 🎶 RIGHT ABOUT NOW FUNK POPE BROTHER CHECK IT OUT NOW 🎶

Otherwise this was all a waste of time

Gasses: Sup bitches

Noble Gasses: Good evening m'ladies

Inside me are 4 horsemen. I am singlehandedly holding back the Apocalypse.

I think "go fly a kite" was the original go fuck yourself

We don't talk enough about what a fun name the Fine Young Cannibals is.

Drives me crazy

You're the next pope, Charlie Brown

Possibly terrifying, possibly good for the environment if literal: Applebees

My Myers-Briggs score came back as NSFW

Pronounces douche like touché

Music is the closest we will ever get to time travel

All this shit going on today is because your momma don't dance and your daddy don't rock-n-roll

An escape room, but we just lock kids in a library and they have to use the Dewey decimal system to find their way out.

Diamonds are forever and so are marinara sauce stains

She was rare. Like a railroad car with no graffiti.

My mom was a travel agent. She had the best deals on guilt trips.

You can't hurt me. I made it through leather seats in the car during summer.

*Listens to We Didn't Start the Fire by Billy Joel*

*Adds history major to resumé*

Double cassette decks were the original file sharing