Ennui Doofen

Are you aware we execute innocent people in the US quite regularly?

Here's a story about Anthony Boyd, an innocent black man the state of Alabama intends to murder by gas mask next week.

What can you do? Read this, and check out the thread below for how you can help. 🩷

He Was Convicted Entirely On Clashing Eyewitness Testimony. Alabama Plans to Execute Him Next Week. - Bolts

No physical evidence connected Anthony Boyd to a 1993 murder. He was sent to death row on the word of a co-defendant who testified under the threat of capital punishment.

The serenity prayer is way too long. God grant me the breakfast

as a former kid who placed coins over the eyes of my dolls at night for the boatman, i forgot what i was about to say but i'm sure it was very normal

Ask your doctor if Anxiety Turtle™️ is right for you

when i grow up i want to stop spilling things on my clothes

Some days I'm very careful who I follow and other days I'm like well you reposted a guy named Fart's pic of a one-eyed pug, and that's good enough for me

Grief comes out in strange places, like the self-checkout

Me, yelling at the machine: THAT'S GREAT, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY UNEXPECTED ITEMS MY LIFE HAS HAD

Storm chasers were asking for tornado footage from ppl who live in Dallas today. A woman responded with videos of three kangaroos in her yard, and said "All kangaroos are fine!" I will be using that as an answer for how I'm doing from now on

them: you never age, what's your secret?

me: actually, i've just been kind of sad and eating a lot of toast

them: maybe it's your lipgloss?

me: that's butter

i'm so close to standing on the side of the road barefoot wearing a sandwich board that says the end is nigh, like i'm just looking for the right hat at this point

lightning struck right outside my window and I realized I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want it to be loud

Hey I love you

"New day, new me!" I announce hopefully, right before I hit my shin on the bed in the same spot I always do

asking how i'm feeling is just like asking what i'm having for dinner while i'm hunched over the sink shoveling cold leftovers in my mouth. it ain't great, look away

what's great about staring at a wall is that if you forget what you're doing, you're still doing it

I think I'd rather have a social network that's all about giving crows gifts and posting pics of the gifts they bring in return

two modes:
-cannot fall asleep because something could happen
-have to fall asleep because cannot handle one more thing happening

a woman posted a pic in a group chat of a baby turkey she bought thinking it was a chicken. She captioned the pic "IS THIS A TURKEY?!?"

Anyway, I haven't been here because I've been yelling IS THIS A TURKEY at everything. You should try it

always terrifying when no one is there to bless you and you're just racking up unblessed sneezes

Nothing will ever punctuate a sentence like slamming down a rotary phone did

hold on, i need to be five years old finding out it's parachute day in gym class for a minute

announcing for all to hear that i've got the malaise of centuries of ancestors wailing in my bones only to realize it's just time for breakfast

referring to my diagnoses like crimes to my doctors to keep things interesting, like "I've been accused of having," and adding "allegedly" to whatever they say

there should be a word for emotionally itchy