favs.blue
  1. 1

    When I said I was going to get a lot done today, I was a person who had no idea my shirt was going to feel so weird

    1,865 394
    Nov 15, 2024
  2. 2

    Are you aware we execute innocent people in the US quite regularly?

    Here's a story about Anthony Boyd, an innocent black man the state of Alabama intends to murder by gas mask next week.

    What can you do? Read this, and check out the thread below for how you can help. 🩷

    751 382
    Oct 16, 2025
  3. 3

    The serenity prayer is way too long. God grant me the breakfast

    4,045 382
    Nov 20, 2024
  4. 4

    as a former kid who placed coins over the eyes of my dolls at night for the boatman, i forgot what i was about to say but i'm sure it was very normal

    1,890 347
    Jan 7, 2025
  5. 5

    Ask your doctor if Anxiety Turtle™️ is right for you

    1,205 319
    Oct 15, 2023
  6. 6

    when i grow up i want to stop spilling things on my clothes

    1,293 317
    Mar 24, 2025
  7. 7

    Some days I'm very careful who I follow and other days I'm like well you reposted a guy named Fart's pic of a one-eyed pug, and that's good enough for me

    2,301 312
    Nov 24, 2024
  8. 8

    Grief comes out in strange places, like the self-checkout

    Me, yelling at the machine: THAT'S GREAT, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY UNEXPECTED ITEMS MY LIFE HAS HAD

    1,719 299
    Nov 17, 2024
  9. 9

    Storm chasers were asking for tornado footage from ppl who live in Dallas today. A woman responded with videos of three kangaroos in her yard, and said "All kangaroos are fine!" I will be using that as an answer for how I'm doing from now on

    1,575 296
    Mar 4, 2025
  10. 10

    them: you never age, what's your secret?

    me: actually, i've just been kind of sad and eating a lot of toast

    them: maybe it's your lipgloss?

    me: that's butter

    2,766 290
    Mar 14, 2025
  11. 11

    i'm so close to standing on the side of the road barefoot wearing a sandwich board that says the end is nigh, like i'm just looking for the right hat at this point

    1,246 287
    Feb 23, 2025
  12. 12

    lightning struck right outside my window and I realized I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want it to be loud

    1,586 270
    May 26, 2025
  13. 13

    Hey I love you

    856 264
    Nov 6, 2024
  14. 14

    "New day, new me!" I announce hopefully, right before I hit my shin on the bed in the same spot I always do

    1,594 262
    Nov 26, 2024
  15. 15

    asking how i'm feeling is just like asking what i'm having for dinner while i'm hunched over the sink shoveling cold leftovers in my mouth. it ain't great, look away

    2,255 254
    Jan 2, 2025
  16. 16

    what's great about staring at a wall is that if you forget what you're doing, you're still doing it

    959 252
    May 15, 2025
  17. 17

    I think I'd rather have a social network that's all about giving crows gifts and posting pics of the gifts they bring in return

    1,371 252
    Apr 13, 2025
  18. 18

    two modes:
    -cannot fall asleep because something could happen
    -have to fall asleep because cannot handle one more thing happening

    1,178 245
    Mar 6, 2025
  19. 19

    a woman posted a pic in a group chat of a baby turkey she bought thinking it was a chicken. She captioned the pic "IS THIS A TURKEY?!?"

    Anyway, I haven't been here because I've been yelling IS THIS A TURKEY at everything. You should try it

    1,359 241
    Apr 19, 2025
  20. 20

    always terrifying when no one is there to bless you and you're just racking up unblessed sneezes

    1,029 235
    Jul 31, 2025
  21. 21

    Nothing will ever punctuate a sentence like slamming down a rotary phone did

    1,125 236
    Dec 15, 2023
  22. 22

    hold on, i need to be five years old finding out it's parachute day in gym class for a minute

    1,081 231
    Mar 7, 2025
  23. 23

    announcing for all to hear that i've got the malaise of centuries of ancestors wailing in my bones only to realize it's just time for breakfast

    1,703 228
    Jan 1, 2025
  24. 24

    referring to my diagnoses like crimes to my doctors to keep things interesting, like "I've been accused of having," and adding "allegedly" to whatever they say

    1,086 227
    Aug 1, 2025
  25. 25

    My friend Luke is a kid receiving infusions who's working on TogetherIV, an app where ppl can chill, play games, and feel supported during med treatments.

    togetheriv.com

    It would mean a lot to me if you guys could share or join the waitlist if you're getting infusions and interested!

    375 223
    Jul 20, 2025