drew

I SAY YOU’RE BOTHERING PEOPLE WITH THIS PUZZLE BOX, BOY. YOU’RE COMIN’ ON TOO STRONG WITH THE “SUCH SIGHTS TO SHOW YOU,” WITH YOUR SKIN PULLED EVERY WHICH WAY

Doctor: I have some bad news about your son. I’m afraid he’s too cool.

Mom: can he… can he still go to school?

Doc: you may want to sit down for this

INT. JIGSAW TRAP ROOM - NIGHT

A MAN (30's, hot) wakes up next to THE ASS-REMOVAL MACHINE. A tape starts playing.

JIGSAW (v.o.): Hey idiot

Reply to @dogballs.info

"it took them thirty minutes to refill the wine carafes this is unacceptable" listen to yourself. none of us are supposed to be here. we should be hiding in trees from bears. language is a miracle, we cannot use it like this

I cannot wait to see what the swine think of these pearls

Every part of the chicken can be the chicken tender when we teach that chicken to forgive

Ask not for whom the Ben Folds

I think it’s safe to say they’re just gonna be enforcing the laws they want to enforce against the people they want to enforce them against instead of honoring the body of the constitution as an all-encompassing mandate for behavior, so you gotta stop seeing the world inside that system

Trans rights are non negotiable. It’s like a foundational aspect of a better world

Sunny Day Police State

Joey McAllister @joeymcallister.com

Was this very mid-2000s emo person press-ganged into ICE servitude?

Wait was this country invented by perverts

Well son it all started because a bunch of people got mad at having to be considerate, and now soldiers can beat you to death if they think you have an attitude in the bread line

“Common whore” implies the existence or rare, legendary, mythical, and heirloom whores

One thing that's fun about working in entertainment now is how much begging for money from Saudi Arabia everyone is doing

Wife’s out of town so you KNOW I’m keeping a night light on in case monsters

I love Chappell Roan because she's telling me that I cannot make my wife cum (true) but in a way that is just so danceable

Ahh, “hot”. The “loud” of temperature

One thing they don't tell you about working in media is that the majority of executives at these companies straight up have never watched any of the shows they make

As a child I was led to believe that history was done happening but it appears to be turbo-happening

If we do a civil war football season is gonna be super awkward

One of the things they don’t tell you about being a white guy is that sometimes you meet another white guy and he seems chill and you strike up a convo and then like twenty minutes later that guy will just float out a teeeeny bit of hate speech just to test the waters

I think one of the reasons we are In Hell is because the loudest American identity is about a monolithic "whiteness," an identity whose ancestry is connected to its origins of conquering, stealing, buying, owning. The Christian idea that man has "dominion" over nature. It's soulless.

I bring a sort of vibe to the function that ruins it

Lots of people are upset about this, but maybe the way to defeat AI is by making unhinged fictional fan wiki entries.

Jason Schreier @jasonschreier.bsky.social

I was excited to tell my kids that there's a sequel to Encanto, only to scroll down and learn that Google's AI just completely made this up