ceej

hey dude, I noticed you attempting to carve a small space for joy in the face of overwhelming sadness. kind of problematic considering all the horrors

please stop suggesting I solve my problem by changing my behavior. I do not want to do that

production of The Muppet Show should not be dependent on petty vulgarities like “ratings” or “revenue.” it should be preserved as a vital function of american culture. it should have a taxpayer-funded budget rivaling the CIA

my father-in-law is a “I know a guy” Guy. sadly all the old Guys are aging out of the Guy Economy. Guys are fundamentally incompatible with Hustle Culture because it’s not about “winning” a deal, it’s about collecting favors and goodwill in a mutually-beneficial cycle. protect your local Guy Economy

we've got some ICE shit going down in our little town today and it took like three minutes for a convoy of wine moms to start chasing them around town. normies hate this shit and are putting in the work

There is going to come a time in your life when you are chatting with a guy, at a barbecue or something, a new coworker maybe, a dad at school drop off, and he tells you he used to be in ICE. You’re going to need to spit on that guy

Matt Novak @paleofuture.bsky.social

Minnesota: "School officials say the [5-year-old] child was used as bait. They say [ICE] agents made little Liam knock on the door to ask to be let in in order to see if anyone else was home."

▶

no amount of state propaganda will ever convince me this man is my enemy

@unioncity.bsky.social

I for one will welcome our Chinese overlords #Beerjacket #China #Tsingtao

"what are we going to do with 20,000 ICE agents if we abolish ice" well to start with I think we should all literally spit on them in public for the rest of their lives

No statement from Mitch McConnell on the sudden passing of his senate colleague? So much for decorum

FEDERAL RESEARCH LAB SCIENTIST IN 1965: After five years and seventy million dollars we have invented a new type of plastic that prevents communists from being able to climb ladders too fast
FEDERAL RESEARCH LAB SCIENTIST IN 2025: My cure for cancer was shelved because it might benefit Hispanics

“hole in the ozone layer” levels of erasure. my mom was a project manager who busted her ass for years to make sure IBM was ready for Y2K and completely succeeded, only for it to get turned into a late night joke. funny how the stories of mass collective action to avoid disaster rarely get told

Zombie fiction is, at its core, about the fear of seeing your own body age and decay. Ghost stories are about the impossibility of grappling with the past. Vampires are about what if you got so horny you died

I’ve been thinking about this guy almost daily for ten fucking years. essentially my entire 30’s. when he finally croaks I imagine I’ll let out a sigh so deep it realigns my fucking spine

they really need to invent a second type of money these guys can play around with separate from the money I need to buy food. Business Money. Money 2

LEFTIST: Dude, you need to grow up and get a hobby. Start treating women like people and find a useful role in society.
RIGHT WING INFLUENCER: You’re a pussy. You’re a beta cuck. You’re poor because of the soy in your blood. Suck my dick, simp.
YOUNG MAN: the liberals have left me no choice

nobody is immune to propaganda, but it does help if you can develop a moral framework independent of a book you read when you were twelve

JOKER: Not so fast, Bat-JERK! My LAUGHBangs will leave you BLIND as a BAT!
BLUESKY BATMAN: Oof. Many people suffer from reduced vision. Not funny.
JOKER: It's like, it's a pun. It's just wordplay.
BLUESKY BATMAN: Sorry if I'm not in the mood for "jokes" while SCOTUS shreds our constitutional rights

scrawny 18-year-old about to fall out of an army helicopter over tehran: this is so epic. this is totally sigma, right babe?

AI e-girl operated by a balding intelligence officer in virginia: that's right baby, Iran is totally cringe

we appear to have four competing fascist movements jockeying for control: blood & soil nazism under miller and hegseth, darwinian ecofascism from rfk, technofascism under vance and musk, and one Big Wet Hitler who understands the true animating core of the american volk is a deep love for shopping

REPUBLICAN SENATOR: Democrats want you to believe that sending FIVE MILLION DOLLARS of YOUR tax money to MEXICO to “manage” the “Dick Exploding Spider” population is “normal”
SAME SENATOR SIX MONTHS LATER: (walking like a saddle-sore cowboy) This is the greatest public health crisis of our lives,

MENSWEAR GUY: Furthermore, you’ve neglected to even cut the vents of the shockingly poor-fitting sport coat you’ve, for some reason, chosen to wear to breakfast

MAN WHO STILL WEARS A THREADLESS TEE FROM 2003 WITH TWO ANTHROPOMORPHIC HOUSES HUGGING UNDER THE TEXT “HOMIES”: haha get his ass derek

heads up to the american news media: I do not care what racists thought of the super bowl halftime show

trans rights forever