Napoleon Bonaparte made his servants break in his shoes before he wore them. His entire wardrobe was two different outfits repeated. When he arrived at St Helena he had a meltdown about the house smelling like paint. His stare was so unnerving other heads of state believed it was magical.
culture war is evolving to a strange place. went to a craft night and the conversation went from discussing witchcraft (as though it were real) to disparaging antivaxxers within like five minutes. one woman, my new hero, blurted out "they lobotomized the wrong kennedy"
this series of biblical plagues and strikings down around the 250th anniversary is enough to convert someone to, like, catholicism. but the kind that respects the pope
Reply to @sarahjeong.bsky.social
this thread is brought to you by the time i told my partner about how napoleon sounded "fascinating" and he replied "no he just sounds autistic" and i then spent several hours trying to prove him wrong and only ended up compiling a list of various sensitivities he had or rigid routines he kept
these freaks don't believe in plain language or history, all they have left is catholicism and the federalist society and not even the pope is on their side
Reply to @sarahjeong.bsky.social
trump: autism didn't exist back then
napoleon bonaparte: my mind is made up of cabinets and if i shut all the drawers i will simply fall asleep
something i learned a few years ago is that the odyssey and the iliad were part of a larger cycle of epics about the trojan war but we lost the other six. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epic_Cy...
started watching midsomer murders and i'm like. is the point that this nice man is a terrible cop? every episode seems to have a body count of 4+, most of whom were killed while he was actively investigating. baltimore homicide rate has nothing on the english countryside
Reply to @sarahjeong.bsky.social
fucking weirdass weather, culturally significant bodies of water changing color, unusual parasites and ailments running rampant, elder sons suddenly stricken overnight.......
TACO BELL ̶I̶N̶N̶O̶C̶E̶N̶T̶ NOT EXACTLY GUILTY REALLY
Reply to @sarahjeong.bsky.social
He was also, like, a math guy, and one who disproportionately favored math and science when dispensing state honors, and obsessed over maps and making maps correct, but it's not like being a math geek or a transportation nerd is indicative of autism
i was on a bus the other day and someone fully shit themselves. in case you're wondering how the lettuce thing is going
laughing my ass off at this interview of an average sspx layperson in the bbc. this woman thinks she is more catholic than the pope because she won't use her hands to eat the body of christ www.bbc.com/news/article...
Reply to @sarahjeong.bsky.social
Before his military successes he's described as a socially awkward, badly dressed man with weird hair. After his successes, he's a magical genius and who can say why he does what he does!!
Reply to @sarahjeong.bsky.social
He also preferred bland or simple foods though he had textural sensivities like one that his valet described as a strong horror of the little strings in green beans that would send him spiraling
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One time he DIDN'T flip out over a literal war widow wearing a black dress at dinner and his secretary wrote in his diary "wow he did such a good job tonight i'm so proud of him"
Reply to @sarahjeong.bsky.social
it's stuff like that that makes me really worry about the continuity of culture in a time of decreasing literacy and devaluation of knowledge and attribution.
but on the other hand, i've also seen the scholarly suggestion somewhere that the lost six might have been kind of mid
Reply to @sarahjeong.bsky.social
Step 1: do not understand the language mass is in
Step 2: ???
Step 3: be closer to god than the pope
Reply to @sarahjeong.bsky.social
foyle's war: we will write every episode around a lesser-known dark aspect of world war ii, and half the crimes will be about rationing instead of murder
midsomer murders: hello chap i'm just popping over to the vicar's for tea and to fuck his wife and then kill her
the funny thing is that I started watching this because I really like Foyle's War, a show that makes sense and tries to tell you about real things that really happened, and it was somehow made by the same showrunner???
Reply to @sarahjeong.bsky.social
i'm trying really hard not to think about the ramifications of a pretty wild explosive diarrhea incident in public in a state where the bad lettuce supposedly hasn't appeared yet
Reply to @sarahjeong.bsky.social
listen, i don't say this often, but the meth faced people had a point. it was all over the seats. it was not like, someone loaded their pants oh no. it was actually explosive diarrhea. we all saw a lot that day
so everyone was upset, the person got off and ran to either a bathroom or the back of a dumpster (unclear), and then four people with meth face were so mad about sharing a bus with a pants pooper that they demanded to be let off right away
Reply to @sarahjeong.bsky.social
(it probably wasn't related because no cases have been detected here yet but i was definitely thinking "lettuce" the entire time)