"Glance" is another word for galena, which is my name sort of.

BAGGER: (spilling my groceries on the floor) Oh God. I'm so sorry. This isn't what I'm supposed to do.

ME: How are you supposed to do it?

MANAGER: She means she was gonna be a fox. In the woods and shit. But something happened and she got stuck.

BAGGER: (crying) Got so stuck.

3:19am I believe in us. We will be okay. We will see communism in our lifetimes. I love you.

3:44am Burning all my paintings. My art is a waste I am sorry for wasting so much time I will never be good enough

4:31am if kirby swallowed a pirate he would be Scurby

(aborted manager in heaven) I would have loved to touch base with you…

50 year old coworker: i'm on a seafood diet... i see food and i eat it

me off a delta edible trying to keep up: i light my torch and burn it

wendy's cashier: will that be all?

me: i think so. we just close our eyes for the last time and we're gone. but it doesn't have to be sad. it's like before you were born. we don't miss those who haven't happened yet. we don't feel their absence

wendy's cashier: mothers do. i do

zero bad bitches hitting my line this week..mercury must be in gatorade 🤣

ⓘ 𝗞𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘀
All Gatorade beverages have been within acceptable mercury levels since the US Food and Drug Administration reclassed Gatorade as seafood in August 2015.

me: so a "california stop" is illegal. and a "rolling stop" is illegal. but a "california roll" is a delicious treat

anton chigurh seeing another car coming: Nevermind. Just go.

Asking to use your bathroom and firing off a dozen posts like "Straight passing people love hiding their lotion" while I'm in there for 45 minutes

There needs to be a separate mcdonalds playplace for minors. The fact that I have to listen to these 6 year olds' harebrained takes on how to get me unstuck from this tube slide is so deeply unserious.

i think we should stop trying to solve every problem by violating women

The Guardian @theguardian.com

World Athletics mandates gene tests for female category eligibility

World Athletics mandates gene tests for female category eligibility

* Regulations come into effect for world championships * ‘The test is a very important step,’ says Sebastian Coe Athletes will be eligible to compete in the female category for world-ranking competitions such as the world championships only if they clear a one-time gene test. The test for the SRY gene, which needs to be taken only once and helps in determining biological sex, can be conducted via a cheek swab or blood test. World Athletics’ testing protocol will be overseen by member federations and the new regulations come into effect on 1 September, in time for that month’s world championships in Tokyo. Continue reading...

"lol coffee is just bean water" well you're meat water and i tolerate you

Re: “CIS PEOPLE GET GENDER AFFIRMING SURGERY TOO”

What we are choosing to ignore when we draw that equivalency is that “gender affirming surgery” is already kind of a euphemism to appease cïs people.

girl flirting with the guy next to me: i need some fresh air, wanna come outside with me?

me, mysteriously: i need way fresher air than they have outside.

I'm trans because I noticed I'd been trans for quite some time.

It is an observation, not something I decided. I decided to tell people. A lot of them reacted like I was making a big change. I'm just describing myself. I am trans. Why not notice? What does understanding cost?

me eating a Kit

me when a cowboy makes a spurious claim

THE BAD NEWS: IT IS TOO LATE FOR YOU TO HAVE A PERFECTLY COMPREHENSIBLE LIFE.

THE GOOD NEWS: NOW YOU CAN BE BEAUTIFUL.

HIRING MANAGER: Can you explain this gap on your resume?

ME: I was going through an alchemical process.

HIRING MANAGER: Which one?

ME: I don't think you're allowed to ask me.

OWNER CRACKING HIS KNUCKLES: Was there purification with water?

i do both

▶

jemma “&” (officially) @jemma.bzky.team

you are a trans woman on bluesky... you have two choices...

telling the doctor not to hit me with the knee reflex thing because i'm at 1 HP

CNN: Popeyes To Begin Just Killing People

friendlyhelper88: based popetes

Reply to @junlper.beer