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Haus of Decline

@hausofdecline.bsky.social
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  1. 1

    A bunch of men are hanging out in a big hole. A sign points to it labelled "Hole." One of the men in the hole points to a sign that says "NEW HOLE." He says "hey look! someone made a new hole!" All the men frantically rush out of the old hole and into the new one. One comments "this feels like how the old hole used to feel."
    44,622 7,527
    Oct 18, 2024
  2. 2

    Reposting this for no particular reason

    Steven Universe vs. Hitler. Steven appeals to Hitler "what if you could change your mind, Hitler?" Hitler stares at Steven with angry intent. Garnet puts her hand on Steven's shoulder and says "I think we're gonna have to kill this guy Steven." Steven says "Damn."
    42,215 12,402
    Nov 8, 2024
  3. 3

    Getting on here early was great. Now a bunch of big Twitter accounts are migrating and I am larger than them. Feels like this

    Tall woman holding small woman against a wall, presumably as a prelude to some sort of adult entertainment
    39,610 1,523
    Nov 17, 2024
  4. 4

    A man is tied to a chair. Two feds approach him. One says "Feed him the gusher!" The restrained man objects "NO! NO!" They forced feed the candy to him and his head turns into a giant apple. A tear rolls down his eye and he says "I used to be a man."
    30,741 2,812
    Nov 16, 2024
  5. 5

    A man in a beekeeper outfit looks into a mirror and says "Candyman..." Candyman arrives and floods the room with bees. The beekeeper says "thanks for helping to restore the world's bee population with your supernatural bee powers." Candyman considers this for a moment, then looks back up an nonchalantly remarks "I have a complex relationship with bees."
    23,855 3,077
    Nov 9, 2024
  6. 6

    A depressed man says "well there goes the last of the dopamine." He sits on the coutch and says "maybe if I watch all my favourite TV shows again I can get it back." Months pass. His beard grow steadily. After finishing, he now has a ZZ Top beard. "It didn't work," he says.
    23,659 1,848
    Nov 20, 2024
  7. 7

    A man almost steps on a Banana Peel and says "heh. almost slipped on that banana peel. Classic bit." The Banana peel springs off the ground and latches on to the man's face. A muffled MMPH MMPH can heard. His stomach expands, much to his distress, and a banana bursts out amidst a flurry of intestinal viscera.
    23,404 2,533
    Dec 13, 2024
  8. 8

    1 Year on T... Mario hangs his hat on a nearby rack then notices himself in the mirror. He says "it's-a me..." Tears of joy stream down his cheeks and he finishes "Mario"
    22,898 3,869
    Mar 10, 2025
  9. 9

    A group of men are playing D&D. The DM says "roll for initiative..." Another man at the end of the table, looking rough, unshaven says "huh? oh sorry... I'm a little distracted 'cause the divorce papers came in today..." The divorcing man starts wailing uncontrollably, massive tears streaming down his face. The DM, slightly miffed says "man, you said you were up to this. It's so hard to schedule these." The divorcing man continues to wail.
    21,670 1,477
    Nov 17, 2024
  10. 10

    This shit is straight up whacky

    Pre transition Alex. Wearing a pink button down and ripped jeans. Bearded and unkempt. Smiling but dead behind the eyes. Girl Alex. Looks more put together wearing black short shorts and black strappy top. Light in the eyes.
    21,601 800
    Nov 28, 2024
  11. 11

    A phlebotomist says to a patient "we're going to draw some blood." A photograph of a hand with a pen comes from outside the panels and colours in the blood bag with red. The phlebotomist says "see? that wasn't so bad." The patient, dumbfounded, asks "wa that... was that God?"
    21,328 5,613
    May 14, 2026
  12. 12

    Please do not give me unsolicited advice about my appearance. Please do not give ANYONE unsolicited advice about their appearance.

    20,971 1,950
    Nov 22, 2024
  13. 13

    A man says "I have amnesia..." He looks in his front pocket and says "what's this? there's a letter in my pocket." He opens is and says "this could be a clue as to who I am." He opens the letter and it just says "You Have Amnesia." The man looks pissed.
    20,779 2,003
    Nov 7, 2024
  14. 14

    A man walks into his apartment and says "glad to be home from work. time to change." He undergoes a Sailor Moon-like magical girl transformation, where a star pendant erupts into pink ribbons that cover his body and turn into his home clothes, a tattered Ween shirt and dirty sweatpants.
    20,531 3,294
    Dec 18, 2024
  15. 15

    A brown-haired woman stand before a court in a red drass with a black waistband. She appeals to the judge "your honour, I may have committed mail fraud, but I can also do the entire Kate Bush Wuthering Heights Dance." She extends her arms forward in front of her, then does a flourishing pirouette. The judge bangs his gavel. With great intensity he shouts "I've seen enough! Not guilty!" The women looks humble in her legal victory.
    19,965 2,022
    Dec 14, 2024
  16. 16

    You are OK. Probably.

    Haus of Decline with bitchy expression giving thumbs up. She is wearing square black glasses, a black crop top with the Haus of Decline logo on it, a small circular pendant, an Amazon basics-ass black skirt and some regular black socks.
    19,945 441
    Nov 22, 2024
  17. 17

    A coach points his hand at a basketball player who's on the bench. He says "alright kid, you're in." The kid gets up, but the coach stops him and says "no. not you." The bench starts moving and gets on the court, leaving the kid to stand by himself, dejected.
    18,321 1,361
    Dec 4, 2024
  18. 18

    A klansman says "OK that concludes official Klan business." He holds ip a ball and broom and says "now on to the Quidditch tournament." Another Klansman says "um Grand wizard? I broke my broom." The Grand Wizard punches his temples and says "I swear to God, Daryl. You are such a Hufflepuff."
    17,966 3,402
    Apr 17, 2025
  19. 19

    Jesse Pinkman approaches Walter White and says "you Mr. White" He opens his sketchbook to show Ken Penders-like drawings of him and Walt. He says "I drew us as Sonic OCs." Walt furrows his brow, becomes very intense and says "Jesse..."
    17,131 2,383
    Dec 17, 2024
  20. 20

    A man says "fuck it. I wanna be serialized. I'm tired of living comic to comic. I want to experience more. I don't want my eternally reviving body to be used for momentary vignettes. I want to be somebody." Another man says "Oh Gary, I don't think it works like that. We are doomed to nothingness after the next panel." Gary shakes his fists toward the heavens and shouts "NO! I refuse! My name is Gary! I deserve more life!"
    17,103 3,301
    Apr 1, 2025
  21. 21

    A man looks at another man with an angry-seeming exression and comments "are you... mad at me?" The other mans says "no, I just have naturally arched eyebrows." The first man says "jeez, you don't have to fly off the handle like that." The arched eyebrow man says "but I-" The first man cowers and shouts "don't hurt me! I'll give you whatever you want!"
    16,486 1,239
    Nov 29, 2024
  22. 22

    A man looks at his cat transfixed by the outside world. He asks himself "I wonder what the cat's thinking when it stares out the window." The cat stares with great focus. Its one thought: I must kill...
    16,420 1,882
    Oct 29, 2024
  23. 23

    You are not unclean. You are not a vessel for sin. You are not the creation of others. You create yourself.
    16,384 5,435
    Aug 19, 2024
  24. 24

    A man says "I just finished another watch of Hunter x Hunter and I have now spent 3 hours thinking very hard about what my nen ability would be." Another man replies "you're 38..." The first man goes back to poring over an arcane shit of rules and says "yes, I have factored that into my calculations."
    16,314 2,267
    Dec 20, 2024
  25. 25

    A person in a Snoopy costume with the face pokin out just below the nose hands another Snoopy a pill and says "let's do some molly before the Snoopy Rave." Their pupils enlarge and the other Snoopy says "aw yeah, I'm comin' up" They are in a darkened room with a large group of other Snoopy's vibing as DEEP HOUSE MUSIC plays in the background. They dance in a fashion that is typical of Snoopy witch his bowling pin shaped head outstreched to the ceiling, his arms splayed and feet pattering rapidly on the ground. Suddenly, an intruder! A snoopy points and says "yo, that guy's dressed like Brian Griffin." Another Snoopy says "get the fuck out of here, dude." The sense of rejection is evident on the Brian's face.
    16,056 2,909
    Dec 23, 2024