Taking a remote and hitting Slow Motion on you a few times, watching as your syllables start to drag, your motions hang in there, your eyes take longer and longer to keep up with me--until you're nearly a statue. You're not, though--in an hour, you'll have taken a single step. Easy enough to correct
You're a decoration now! Don't be silly. Every time you move, I'll just put you back where you were. Place your hands on your hips. Straighten up your back. Even reset that smile. And I'll do it again, over and over, until I get bored. Which won't take that long...
For *you*, anyways.
I'll leave the remote on the counter, so that in the morning, after a nice 9 hours of sleep, I can take my sweet time showering, brushing my teeth, having breakfast, and then finally return to the living room to pull it away from a hand so close. Then take those hands--you--and fix your pose.