derek guy

personally would like to see every store show what part of the price increase is due to tariffs bc if these tariffs ever come down, i need to see that price go right back down

american masculinity is so amazing. caring about clothes as a man apparently makes you "gay" but our position on geopolitics totally depends on whether you wear a suit

The year is 2035. I meet President AOC in the Oval Office. "You've done well," she says. "By telling men to dress gay, you've lowered the population rate by 90%, thereby reducing carbon emissions." She slides me a manilla envelope. I can now afford a home in a walkable neighborhood

heartbroken to learn the pope sympathizes with the poor. how can i continue to believe in god

lol

friend of mine is an undocumented immigrant and has been hiding in Melania theaters bc he knows people assume no one is in there

me paying $30 in gas to buy imported things that have been hit with tariffs bc joe rogan is learning about politics at age 58

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kind of funny that an olympian said they are here to represent "compassion, respect, and love for others" and some people automatically knew that was a statement against them

first in my bloodline to see someone get excommunicated by a community note

The Nobel Prize committee should announce the World Cup winner tomorrow

RIP Mark Rothko. You would have loved how the hydrogen peroxide bleach is only turning the Reflecting Pool blue around the perimeter

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aint no way we cut medicaid and housing assistance so jeff bezos could buy this shirt

"stick to menswear"

im on every app. im in your city, in your neighborhood. the sales associate who handed you a large when you asked for a medium? that was me. i am now behind you.

this is what will happen if mamdani makes bus rides free

imagine being accidentally added to a second, slightly smaller group chat where they're talking about how to handle this scandal

me reading national security secrets bc i've been accidentally added to a group chat

my mom took tylenol when she was pregnant, which made me super focused on menswear and now i have a million followers on twitter

all i want is to one day own a modest sized home in a walkable neighborhood and raise money for shelter animals. wear an outfit i like, walk to the grocery store, buy some nectarines, feed cats, and live in peace. just don't understand why achieving this is so hard

this looks like a trick daffy duck would put up to get bugs bunny into "the oval office"

Am I crazy or did we just have a convo about how we can't fund cancer research?

every epstein file drop underscores how elite power operates through shared socio-economic networks, regardless of people's ideological differences, populist posturing, or public feuds

one of my strongest beliefs is that we're in our situation right now bc some of the most prominent talking heads (e.g. joe rogan, andrew schulz) are learning about politics in their 40s and 50s, instead of their teens and early 20s, and we have to go along for the ride as they learn basic things

I am pleased to announce that I have commandeered my neighbor's home. This home will be sold at its Market Price, and that money will be controlled by me, to ensure it is used to benefit my neighbor and me! Thank you for your attention to this matter!